The Conversation NOT to Have with a Preggo Person

This happened on the Wednesday before we left for Savannah so it has been a few weeks ago now, but I'll do my best to recount exactly what went down at my favorite pizza buffet joint.  This was the craziest conversation I've ever had with a stranger, and I just do not think this post will accurately portray the nuttiness of the whole thing.  My dad was with us so I definitely have a witness otherwise I don't know that I would believe it myself.

I'm guessing since it is a serve yourself buffet I had walked by this particular table of 50-something ladies (if you can call them that) several times over the course of getting Travis something to eat, then getting our drinks, and then getting my plate.  After they were done, the women walked by and one said that she just had to ask me something since they had apparently been talking about me their entire lunch.  She said "are you due TODAY?" (emphasis on TODAY!).  I just smiled and said nope and that I had several weeks to go (I had already started generalizing the whole how long to go conversations because people always keeled over when I told them I wasn't due until June).  Usually, that was enough of an answer and the questioner moved on, but not this one.  Assuming that the question already asked isn't rude enough, she proceeds with:

1) "Well, it must be twins."

Me: "Nope."

2) "Well, it has to be a boy."

Me: "Nope."

3) "Well, is all you do is eat?" (Friends, I could not make this up!!)

Me: "Nope."

4) "Well, you must come here often then?" (See above where we are at yummy pizza buffet)

Me: "Um, Not Really."

5) "Well, Good luck" (not in the like genuine sense, but in the jerky voice).

Me: "Thanks."

I literally didn't know what else to say.  Of course when she left I thought of all of these hateful things that I should have spouted back.  I'm, of course, glad that I didn't say anthing of the sort.  My dad, bless his sweet heart, made some comment about how black (I was wearing a black dress over leggings) was supposed to be slimming.  I don't think he really realized how ugly this lady was being or he might have pushed her over.  I really don't give a rats about the questions 99% of the time and am so used to the "Twins?" comment that it just rolls off me, but this lady almost had me in tears. 

I sort of hope she stumped her toe on her couch or something when she got home.  Growing babies is the most amazing thing and the fact that God made my body able to grow a human is such a miracle.  I totally embrace it and am so thankful that God also made my body able to "mostly" go back to normal.

We are getting close now so if you see me out (which will get less and less frequent), please tell me how gorgeous I look and how I must love my babies so much that I totally sacrifice my entire body all the way to my ankles in order to provide for them and that you can hardly believe that I'm almost due because I hardly look pregnant.  And try to keep a straight face.  :)

Xoxo,
Gara